Law School Means Lost Cool

Are you also one of the naive individuals who binged on Suits and could see yourself saying, “I am the best closer Delhi has ever seen?”. Or are you one of those gullible sheep shown the light to salvation by your CLAT coaching institute–the 20 lakhs PA package. Or are you just meekly following your family’s tradition of being swathed in the Judge’s robes?

Whatever your reasons may be, do you now suddenly find yourself in the hot quagmire mess of unending law school classes conducted over Zoom portals and unfinished assignments, complex Contracts theories, relentless professors raining down upon you and overachieving classmates? Well same, man.

Not that I am here to offer solace, but I plan on reassuring you that you are not the only “young, dumb, and broke” out there. There’s a whole lot in the Batch of 2025 going through the exact same spectrum of emotions that you are (we bond through trauma, eh?).


Law School Hierarchy

How do you guess whether someone is from one of the top 3 lawschools?

You don’t need to guess. They will tell it to you themselves.

Do you belong to The Holy Trinity of Top Law Schools- NLSIU, NUJS and NALSAR (no Jindal you may certainly NOT sit with us) and still not suffer from a false sense of entitlement? Congratulations, you may actually be normal.

But irrespective of the inherent hierarchy of lawschools or where your university lies in the NIRF Rankings based upon totally irrelevant and arbitrary (and structurally determined) factors, students all across India are united by the moral calling of how we all put ourselves in exorbitant debt to pay off lawschool dues.

Campus Life

If you think your life is hard, imagine a bunch of overeager, barely 18 year olds, who have never seen their friends or their college campus. They have missed their fresher’s. They have no social life pertaining to their university. A constant state of anxiety of having a humiliating virtual slip-up of accidentally being unmuted or leaving a camera on is perpetual. Please be kind to them; their only semblance of memories of first year at lawschool are the memes which they have sent to each other.

 

AND LMAOO, FESTS DID YOU SAY? Getting too ahead of ourselves aren’t we?

Co-Curriculars

What is the collective noun for pompous extroverts, suited up in black and throwing around legal jargon and obscure case laws like party confetti?

Moots.

Every first year at their first moot

Every first year has/had wet dreams of going on all-expenses-paid trips to exotic locations. What they never thought was sitting in their rooms, in front of their webcam and shouting “am I audible, Your Honour?” every 3 seconds.

For the introverted, thick glassed language snobs who have (supposedly) commanded mastery over Celtic-English, Latin, Anglo-Saxon English and French littératur; law schools have this insanely educational activity known as a Law Review where they put their extensive knowledge to good use i.e. checking spelling errors and citation standards of articles they do not understand.

Ambiverts- do not fret. We have activities for you too in the form of student run clubs which either run blogs or invite guests to speak on absolutely obscure niche topics which nobody really cares for or understands.

Also, is your law school really a law school if you don’t have committees which are too conservative or too pro-Che?

Contracts!!

Every first year shrimp has that one subject–yep, THAT SUBJECT– which makes them second guess their decision for enrolling to a law school. While I do agree, Contracts is an extremely interesting and nuanced subject, Bob Marley becomes increasingly relevant in this context when he said-One love. One life. One world. One fight. One night. Entire semester worth of readings.

That is how Contracts seems to be going for me (wrong/irrelevant case law citing gang, pls rise).

Do you also have a fancy latin phrase up there in your instagram bio or are you actually normal? Because no one can change my mind when I say that law school is just a place for English majors to make money.

Before entering law school I really thought I would have supportive friends who would help me tide through my class work each day but now I have simply internalised it with loud sighs that “group study sessions” is simply a code word for tea spilling gossip sessions.

I would LOVE to elaborate more on how my first semester exams went but I would rather stay away from that grey murky area. 😉

Assignments

(Balance? Time management? Organisation? Yeah right.)

“Am I negligently or recklessly procrastinating?” if this is a question you find yourself asking this for more than 3 times a day, then I officially welcome you to the club (gang gang).

I won’t lie to yall. I have only 4 prominent emotions when it comes to my assignments- panic, anxiety attacks while panicking, paranoia induced anxiety attacks while panicking, feeling ‘???’ while panicking.

Verified answers collected by field survey

I came here looking for a good time, and I am still looking (frantically) for a good time.

Professors

intentional infliction and emotional distress. Professors held guilty.

Ever heard of that quote “all work, and no play makes Jack a law student” or something like that.

That is the mantra all professors go religiously by.

How dareth thy possess some free time? Here, take these 47 cases to scar you for a lifetime.

Me lurking in my professors email the night before my end sem

(for personal PTSD reasons, the author will not be elaborating on her very first viva experience in law school. nope, Thank you. )

Classmates

If you look a little closer, you will see the fine lines of groupism veined into your seemingly liberal first year class.

The Overachiever– to help you question your self worth at every possible junction of your academic life, who has already secured the job package at Cyril Amarchand and is just there for the degree.

We all know a kevin 😉

The Jock– good-looking, street smart, popular in class and the football field dating and social lives in full bloom. Not really a baller at academics but made his mark in the debating arena, secured heir at his daddy’s law firm.

Then you have your 3-working-braincells-confused-individuals; who came to lawschool for the parties and (…ahem) “herbs” but instead found themselves in an unending cycle of semesters and assignments, a non-existent entity known as a good mental health, zero serotonin, and crying themselves to sleep every night.

Oh, yes. And that ONE single guy who acts like he has already cracked UPSC/Judiciary.

Unpaid Internships

(Karl Marx was right)

As if the debt almost equalling the GDP of a third world Carribean Nation wasn’t fulfilling enough, free markets have now created the concept of interns who are exploited for their labour except that labour in any form gets paid, but interns do not. Some law firms play the reverse capitalism card when they actually ask you for fees in lieu of the “opportunity” to intern under them.

Haha but jokes aside, the time period after deciding to sit for CLAT until now has been a total whirlwind and absolutely opposite to what most of us expected. But the situation around us exactly hasn’t been normal, I must admit and all of us have been trying our best to make the best of the scenario- classmates, seniors, faculty, university admins.

The above article was written in extreme hyperbole and all hope is not lost. Looking on the brighter side, there are so many things which we have not experienced which law school has to offer and hence, so many things to look forward to.

I am sure that almost all of our seniors have been extremely helpful with their advices and their guidance.

While a senior did say to me (what nightmares are made of)-

“Came smart. Stayed scared. Finished soulless.”

Another also said-

It will all be worth it. (?)

Image Credits: Grad School Memes (link here).

If you wish to write for us, or have a story to share, write to us at umang.poddar@lawctopus.com

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