I am letting go. I am leaving forever this time.

I.

Hello little one,

I am sorry if being with me gets a little overwhelming at times.

I know you’re just a 21 year old behind all the mature facade you put up day in & out.

I know you have plans, you are trying to figure out where your life is taking you, and at the same time you want to be there for everyone in your life and between all the chaos, you feel like life is slipping out of your hands slowly.

Don’t take life so seriously that you’re tense all the time, instead give your best to whatever you do, be open to opportunities, live as a 21 year old, you’re allowed to be carefree at times, don’t take it so hard on yourself to figure everything out too soon, it will all fall into place eventually and when it all gets too much to handle, take a deep breath and get clarity, and fix your priorities correctly.

II.

Hi

I don’t want to talk or anything but it’s just that I’m sorry I had too much love to give.

I learnt from my mistake the hard way. Sorry for smothering you for three years. Have a great life ahead.

Just don’t do to someone what you wouldn’t want to be done to yourself ever. F*** this. Can’t f*** my head up any more. You love me, I don’t feel it. You don’t, good for you; more opportunities to be free and have fun.

I will always wonder why you got me those chocolates for two days, why you asked me out, why you promised you’re going to try to make it work, why you became happy when we did patch up, why you still didn’t keep the promises and still didn’t treat me as someone important enough?

Why did you make me go through all of this for the 3rd time,only to realise you need to stop fearing that I won’t be fine and I need to be independent.

Isn’t it too late? I don’t think there is a reverse gear. You can stop feeling or continue to feel like you are at present but you can’t modify your feelings after a certain stage. Didn’t get the answer to my questions.

Why don’t you just say it straight forwardly you don’t want inhibitions and when you patched up you realised, you will have to cut down the talking or flirting and you can’t live that way.

Don’t put it on my interpretations. Correct me if I’m wrong but I said there is only 1 year left before I leave for the land seven seas away, bear with me till then and you ll be free after that so you said when there is only one year, we should live our lives without restrictions, without expectations because you want to do what you want to and you will. Took me way too long.

And now I’m moving on. I don’t need validation from you before every action of mine. I don’t need your advice and I don’t need you. I have been treated like shit and I’d prefer to be alone rather than being treated than that. I’m worth more and I deserve more love and importance.

I am letting go. I am leaving forever this time. And its not my interpretations which are faulty because I’m talking facts this time. I’m sure you’re happier in the place you’ve chosen to be in.

You said what I’ve been feeling since so long. I am just a friend and there are so many more important things for you to do. So please go ahead. I called you in a perfectly good mood and then you say such stuff.

You’re an as***le and that’s who you’ll always be. I don’t want any calls from you ever and trust me, I will stop giving a fuck this moment onwards.

No matter how much I miss you or what trouble I am in or howsoever much I need you, you wouldn’t be hearing from me.

Goodbye.

This IS the end.

No more tension in your life anymore. Never again.

I won’t be taking any calls from you so save your huge ego and don’t call. I’m fine and I will be, with or without you.

It is just for this thought that I call you each time I do. I decided never to talk but I ended up calling you because what if this is the last time I talk to you. I don’t want it to end like this. I don’t want it to end but you won’t understand. You amuse me. You really do. I’ll be the bigger person this time.

I’ve stuck on for too long, put up with all the other girls in your life and all the treating me secondarily.

And I am so fu**ing stupid.

I called you again to only listen to how ‘you’ dont want to talk as you don’t want to fight like it gives me fucking peace to fight with you.

You tell me you want to live a life without restrictions and have fun. And then you tell me I TOLD YOU that we should be friends and that you have other important things to do.

I’m sorry but all this word play please do with your other girlfriends, spare me!

You’re all fucking words. I hate you. Today is the last day I am writing to you. Last ever.

You’ve hurt me like no one ever has. I don’t believe in love anymore. I should ve never gotten back with you. I hate you and I always will. You’re not even a nice person.

And please please don’t show me your fake concern. I don’t want your have a safe flight call or have you reached safely message. I don’t want your pity, sympathy or getting back with me because I need you. Kindly don’t tell your other girlfriends that you got back because I needed you.

Be a man. Grow balls and learn to accept when you’re in the wrong instead of fucking other people’s head and then calling them fucked up. I wish you never came to my life. I wish I’d stopped myself in Bhopal. Or after that or in GNLU.

I was foolish to fall for your words every fucking time. I would ve been so much saner and happier had I never fallen for you or trusted you with myself. Have fun. Have fun being the asshole you are smile emoticon.

It is funny how the whole day I’m happy and one call to you ruins my whole night and the next day.So you decide yourself that since you don’t want it, I also don’t want it and since you want to be friends, I do too. What kind of self absorbed universe are you living in?

Its like I don’t even know you. I’ve only said I don’t want it because of the way you treat me.

And trust me the day I stop giving a fuck, I will literally grow so distant that it wouldn’t even feel like you knew me once and I’m trying not to reach a point where you’re a stranger to me.

I called about 5 times right now to tell you this is the last time we re talking so say whatever you want to but seems like I’m not important enough for you to even call back.

I’m just hitting my head on a wall because you’re too stubborn and self absorbed at present to think about anything another person could feel as a consequence of your actions or words.

Be happy.

Just remember I gave you my all and this is what you gave me.

I regret you from the bottom of my heart.

I resent you.

Check out the The Valentine’s Day Special Blogging Competition here.

Law Pundits has already agreed to give courses worth Rs. 54,000 to the winners. Law Suits and More too is giving away some cool gifts!

forever

Read More

Comment Using Facebook

Or Comment Here Anonymously

*

X